Golfing Makes Me Crabby

No offense to my friends and family who love the sport, but golfing makes me crabby.
I tried to like it. David and I went a few times when we were dating. I think I was just so happy to be outside and not in my Modern China class that I thought I actually liked it, even though the actual making contact with the ball quite often eluded me.
After I had Landen, any inkling of liking it definitely passed. It's not like one can take a toddler out on the golf course and have a leisurely afternoon. Having to watch out for flying golf balls and swinging golf clubs takes care of that. Try keeping a little boy--my little boy anyway--in a golf cart for the better part of two hours. Yep. It's as fun as it sounds.
I have always told David that I might like golfing if a course had four or maybe five holes. It just takes SO long to golf a full round! Any of my free time is usually chopped up into five minute intervals. If I have two or more blessed hours of free time, I can think of at least 100 better ways to spend it than on a golf course. The worst part is when one round isn't enough for the golfers. Then I'm grasping for my cell phone and searching for the crisis help line. It really is a matter of life or death. I just can't take more than one round.
My father-in-law was describing a hypothetical golf vacation a couple years ago. We would drive about four hours to David's sister's and golf in most of the towns between home and there. I looked at him with terror in my eyes and said, "That sounds like a slow death by torture." The thought still gives me chills.
David thinks I may learn to like golf someday so I can spend time with our family. Seriously, I get to spend all the time I could ever ask for (and sometimes more) with our kids. If they learn to golf and want to spend a couple hours with their dad on the golf course, that is fine with me!
If I must go along, I will wait in the parking lot and read a good book. Now THAT sounds like two hours well spent.