My "Something"

My mom says we all have SOMETHING unpleasant to deal with in life.
I heard from a college friend yesterday through Facebook. I had filled out a "25 Random Things" list and mentioned that I had survived Post Partum Depression and Anxiety. She thanked me for sharing that since she had no idea I had gone through depression; she has been living with depression and anxiety for several years herself.
Now, I don't want to be a downer on this post, but this is a subject that is close to my heart. I don't use the term "survivor" lightly. From the time Landen was about a week old and for about 3 weeks after that, I walked through the darkest days I ever hope to see. I consider myself blessed as I responded well to treatment and the worst lasted "only" a few weeks. I also know my worst moments weren't as bad as other's worst moments. A minute in depression can seem like an hour and I know some continue to suffer for years. My prayer throughout the anxiey attacks and hopeless moments of those weeks was that God would somehow use it for good. I hope you never experience depression, but if you do, here are some things I wish I had known.
1. Depression can make you feel guilty for no reason. Your baby is not and will not be angry with you for having post partum depression.
2. Talk to your Dr. You do not need to wait until your baby's check up. You are worth an office call. No one will think you are a bad mom or take your baby away. They have seen it before.
3. Reach out and talk to people who can help. (I tried this, but did not feel completely better until I talked to my Dr. The problem was I really didn't know what was wrong with me until I talked to him.)
4. You cannot will yourself out of depression. It is a disease--just like heart disease. You wouldn't be ashamed of your heart--don't be ashamed of your brain chemistry!
5. No matter what those awful feelings are telling you, THERE IS HOPE!
6. Don't listen to Tom Cruise--there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking an antidepressant. I am so thankful to live in an age when there are so many different treatment options available.
7. Depression isn't necessarily a dark "Eeyore" cloud above your head. I hardly ever cried. It is more like a 100 pound weight on your shoulders.
8. Even though you just want to be alone, surround yourself with people and activies that you used to enjoy. You will once again.
9. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. After I felt better and started telling others about my experience, I was surprised at how many had similar stories of their own struggle with depression. How I wish I had known I was not alone!
10. Remember "Footprints"? God is carrying you. I promise. I know. He carried me.