2012

Well, wasn't that year a doozy! 

As Teresa once said, "My didn't saw that one coming!"  If you're still visiting this little blog and keeping up with our lives, thanks for sticking it out.  

The word that comes to mind for 2012 is SURVIVAL.  I figure I spent a good 10 out of these past 12 months just surviving.  First, adding a fourth child to the mix (which always takes a little adjustment), then losing our nephew Luke just 6 weeks after, then finding out about Rachel's skull at the end of April, followed by illnesses and difficult losses for several friends . . . so often I found myself with nothing more to say than, "UGH."  I gave up trying to recover from one blow before the next one hit.  My prayer became figuratively throwing my hands into the air and mentally exclaiming, "Blahhhh!" 

No words left. 

That's OK.  God knows our needs even if we can't put them into words.  How do I know that?  He never stopped taking care of me or those I love.

At one point early in the summer, my focus was making it through the day. If I could still physically stand up straight with the fear and anxiety that was raging through me, well, that was a good day.  One day CM friend Sarah posted this on her Facebook page. 

 

That was it. 

Maybe there was more to life than merely making it through the day.  Thanks to a little extra encouragement from my mom and a little added help from my friend Zoloft, things started to look up.  (We have since parted ways for the time being, but I have to say once again that modern medicine is a wonderful thing.) 

This year was mostly SO, SO tough.  There were so many situations I didn't want to be in, conversations I didn't want to be having, things I didn't want to be thinking about. . . but,  

thankfully, God's GRACE is SUFFICIENT in our weakness.  In everyone of those situations, I came out stronger on the other side. 

As Glennon at Momastery so aptly puts it, life is "brutiful"--a blending of BRUTAL and BEAUTIFUL. 

For all of the tough stuff, there really was so much beautiful--watching all of Rachel's "firsts" and some of the big 3's "firsts," too,  our vacation to Minnesota in June, the family weddings and celebrations, the gift of ordinary days . . . .  so, so much beauty. 

More than any of us could ever deserve. 

As we jump into 2013,

I hope we will all dream a little bigger,

endure the brutal

and embrace the beautiful.

 

I also hope you will keep stopping by.

More adventures await!