My Portrait

I changed my profile picture today. It is a picture Landen drew of me. He actually made two copies of it. So, just in case I ever get lost, the police have some direction in what I look like.
It is so much fun to see Landen starting to draw, write, and read. I also found out at preschool screening that Nathan knows more than we thought--he just couldn't tell us over his brother's incessant talking. He has been writing "L"s and "H"s lately.
Every little step my children take in learning is such a joy to watch.
If only Nathan would step out of the agressive stage he seems to be stuck in, that would be a WONDERFUL step to see!

Things a mom never wants to hear . . .

I really made a mess in there! (Landen--probably 3 1/2 yrs. coming out of the bathroom)
The cocoa exploded! (Landen--making grandma's birthday cake today)
I have a bat! (Nathan with a baseball bat this morning)
I'm going to pray for 2 girl babies to go in your tummy, but they'll go in in different months. (Landen planning our family's future yesterday)
And, finally, a classic that is not even from my own children. My sister in law's sister once asked her mom, "Does lime green fingernail polish stain?"

I am sure this will be continued!

Blessings

This morning Landen was standing in our bedroom doorway and sneezed. Then he said, "Oh, I just blessed you!"
Which reminds me, blessings to you on this Ash Wednesday!

Service Calls

I absolutely detest making service calls.
Take last evening, for instance. I had just brought my computer home from the Dr., tried to connect to my wireless router and . . . nothing. So, I called our internet provider (during an especially bad "worst hour" no less) just to get on their list to have someone come out. I had been living without wireless and my laptop for over a week and even though I know people have faced greater adversity, I was getting pretty cranky. It turned out I called a number with someone willing to help me over the phone. Even though I had not expected to work on the computer right then, I followed his instructions. In the end, we still could not get the wireless to work. At least I still had three children. I didn't know how it would turn out with me locked in the office!
I called someone else this morning and she had me unplug the router and then plug it in again. Guess what--it then found the network and connected. So, that helped my mood considerably. My internet is back, but mostly it is one more service call off my list!
I just hate making those calls so much because I know either I will have to lock myself in the office and risk my children's lives as they fend for themselves (as I unwittingly got myself into last night) or I will have to spend valuable time during their naps to solve problems that I know nothing about.
David has wanted me to switch his Tracfone over to a new model for a few weeks now. It will probably take just a few minutes to do over the phone. Or, it may take longer. I just haven't wanted to take that chance.

God Bless the Tax Preparers

I really wish when God was making me he would have put at least one mathematical cell in my body. Seriously, I hope NW school has some good math tutors by the time my kids reach the 6th grade--maybe sooner--because this mom is no good when it comes to numbers!
Mr. Hermansen always asked if we had questions in Algebra. I usually was so lost I didn't even know what to ask. I at least had a prayer in Geometry because there were shapes involved! When I was forced to take Algebra I in college, I immediately found a graphing calculator and a math tutor. Never did I work so hard for a B!
A few years back I considered taking our church's secretary job. I was obviously desperate for a change of pace because when I got home David reminded me that I didn't even balance my own checkbook. Yes--I had to agree that could be a hurdle in completing my job. I could have produced a very pretty and well-written bulletin every week, but my secretarial skills probably would have ended there. Thankfully someone much more qualified than I filled the position and I ended up coaching high school drama instead--a much better fit for my right brain!
Most farm operations have the wife in charge of the bookkeeping. My husband is smarter than that. Although, I do think he was disappointed when he found out not only could I not drive a tractor but I was also completely inept at math.
So why do I have numbers on my brain today? I had to pick up our taxes at H&R Block this morning and immediately wanted to leave when the lady started asking about
1099s, 1096s, etc. I don't know a 1099 from a WD40! Perhaps if they color-coded them or gave them pretty names I could remember which went where, but I really have no clue!
So, thank you all you tax preparers, business managers, secretary/treasurers, and math tutors. Without you I would be lost . . . or maybe even incarcerated for tax fraud!

Subconscious Guilt

A good friend of mine is a freelance writer and also writes a blog called "Parenting by Trial and Error." She recently wrote an entry on playing with your children and if it is really necessary. As I was reading it, I noticed just how much of my life I spend feeling guilty without even realizing it!

I feel guilty for not playing with my kids enough.
I feel guilty when I need to ask someone to watch my kids.
I feel guilty when they are happy watching a movie or tv show (even if it is educational).
I feel guilty if I am doing something I enjoy (i.e. Facebook or knitting) while I have a quiet moment.
I feel guilty if they have been playing downstairs for awhile and I haven't checked on them. (Even though that's what I WANT them to do!)
I feel guilty if I am too tired to talk much when David comes in the house.
Pretty much if you can name it--I have felt guilty about it.

Like I said--it was so much a part of my life, I didn't even realize I was doing it!
Now I am really trying to make a conscious effort to just stop the guilt. The only person it hurts is me. Everyone else seems pretty happy around here--when they're not beating up on each other, that is.
I am not a big player with my kids. I enjoy reading to them (surprise, surprise) and working with them--baking with them for example. I do play occasionally, but I would rather they entertain each other while I get my other work done around the house.
Maybe I feel I should play with them more because my mom spent so much time playing with me. (I really am thankful, Mom!!) But, then I have to realize that I was an only child for almost 7 years. On the other hand, my mother in law who had 4 children in about 6 years says she "never" played with her children--except to read, of course. She told them that's why she had so many kids so close together! When she told me that before I had children I thought that was pretty harsh, but now I know exactly what she meant. I have told Landen several times, "That's why God gave you a little brother." That is usually answered with, "But I don't want a brother!" Which, of course, I answer with, "Tough."
It is now time to get back to my mommy work--before I start to feel guilty again!

Even trade?

Did I say a few weeks ago I wouldn't trade my boys for anything? Well, lately I have been thinking a pet tortoise might be a reasonable trade. A tortoise would be quiet & slow moving, which would eliminate the running and screaming so prevalent in our home. They are docile creatures (no fighting)! A tortoise would also eat my grass, which would help with the summer mowing. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't pee around my toilet and some species even hibernate! Yes, I think 2 boys for a tortoise would be a good trade. Let me know if you know of any zoos looking for two crazy monkeys!

Gurney's Catalog

I knew it was coming. I just didn't know when. I tried to resist, but it is too late now. I opened my mailbox and it was all over.
I have seen the promised summer to come. It is a summer filled with a zillion varieties of green beans and zinnias and purple carrots and cauliflower that looks like cheddar cheese and kohlrabi (whatever that is). Oh, yes--and there's more! Dripping yellow pears and bright red apples and ornamental peppers that look like Christmas lights will abound! Cilantro and parsley will live in harmony. Gardens will produce pumpkins large enough to hold a small child--or two! It is destined to be a beautiful summer until . . .
The weeds outgrow my plants and I cannot tell which to pull.
Bean leaf beetles not only attack our fields, but my tiny green bean plants as well.
I see a snake and decide to take a few weeks off from gardening.
We have a few windy 110 degree days.
I realize that the only time I can be in the garden is when the mosquitoes are at their worst.
My dog eats the strawberries.
The lawn mower gets a little too close to the onion plants.
I swear I will never plant a garden again.

But--I have hope. I have seen the Gurney's Catalog, and I will plant on! I will have a beautiful, bountiful garden this year--for two or three days at least.

Edges

I always like to look through the catalogs that arrive in my mailbox, even though I rarely order from them. One item I have seen recently is a brownie pan that is either zig-zagged or has three seperate rectangles. This is to make sure every person's brownie has chewy edges. Are chewy brownie edges really that high in demand? I am a middle of the pan girl myself. Maybe I am in the minority. What is your favorite region of a pan of brownies?

Why I Love Sundays

1. Going to church
2. Coffee & conversation with the Cresbard ladies
3. Clean, dressed-up kids
4. Sunday dinner--especially if I don't have to cook it!
5. NAPS
6. Time as a family (Although, I am afraid that has ended for awhile as we have baby calves arriving left and right!)
7. Guilt-free laziness
8. Popcorn for supper
9. America's Funniest Home Videos at 6pm (my boys' FAVORITE)
10. "Desperate Housewives" with a bowl of ice cream after the kids are in bed

Happy Sunday!

Thanks!

Thank you for all the kind words concerning my blog. I am so happy that you all are reading and enjoying it. I have to say that I didn't think I would post so often, but I seem to usually come up with something to share by the end of each day.
This is one of those days that I have to say, "Thank you God for the treasure of this normal day!" Life is good.
One thing that has excited me in the past couple days is the recent advances in MS Research. I hope and pray that someday--sooner than later--my mom & all others with MS will be CURED. What a wonderful day that will be. Please say an extra prayer tonight for all those affected by MS and those researching for new treatments and ultimately--a cure.
I may not post for a couple days as I am going on a shopping excursion with my sisters-in-law, but I promise I'll be back soon!

Happy Holidays!

This morning Landen was getting ready to go outside to help Daddy feed cows. As he was leaving, he signed "I Love You" (they have been learning some signing in school) and then said, "Happy Valentine's Day!"
An hour or so later as Nathan was walking out the door to play, he turned back and said, "Happy Halloween!"

"On For Cresbard High"

Continuing on my spring fever cleaning kick, I took on the office this morning. It is still a work in progress, but I have thrown out two bags of old catalogs and magazines, so at least I lessened the fire hazzard in there! It is still unfinished because I got caught up on one section of the room.
One of my projects was organizing newspaper clippings, etc. from my teaching days. I saved news from oral interp contests, plays, and some other activities the Cresbard kids participated in. It was fun to look at the pictures of smiling high school students with big dreams, remember the sound of the Cresbard Rouser, and thank God for those teachers with whom I formed lifelong friendships. By now the students have graduated college or will be soon, have become parents, or are planning weddings. The teachers have moved onto new adventures--one as far away as a tiny village in Alaska--and sadly, one lost her battle with cancer. What filled my eyes with tears, though, were the thank you notes I had saved from my students and their kind words they wrote as they left to go out into the world.
Cresbard school was such a special place. It was what I pictured when I had dreamed of becoming a teacher for my entire life. Respectful students, involved parents & teachers, and (my personal favorite) fresh baked bread or cinnamon rolls EVERY day made my three years there among the best of my life. What made it especially hard to say goodbye to those years was that I knew how good they were WHILE I was living them.
Of course, I have done alright in the years since then and now actually like being a stay at home mom (most of the time). But I did grieve the school's closing for a long while after I walked out the doors for the last time.
Recently I learned that several Catholic churches in our Diocese--5 in our area alone--will close in the next few years. Of course, it makes perfect economic sense and needs to be done due to numbers, etc. But, there is always the deep emotional hurt that comes with those closures. As these churches prepare to merge, there will be tears from those forced to say goodbye to the special people and places they have loved.
My little sentimental journey through my office reminds me that we are always moving onto new chapters in our lives--some better, some worse, some longer, or some shorter than the previous chapters. Once in awhile, though, it is OK to flip back through the pages of our lives to revisit those favorite chapters and smile--or perhaps let a few tears fall.

A Mother's Love

I've been watching parts of the Miracle on the Hudson special on The Early Show this morning.
They interviewed a wheelchair-bound mother and her grown daughter who were passengers on the plane. After they landed in the river and were preparing to evacuate, the mom told her daughter, "Leave me." Maggie Rodriguez laughed and asked, "Why would you tell her to leave you?" Her response did not surprise me, but it did make me cry. She responded, "Because she is more important than I am . . . ."
When so much on TV is young celebrites saying "me, me, me," this mother showed America what a mother's love truly is. She told the daughter to leave her behind because she is a mother. It is as simple as that.

Rainy Day

I love rainy days! We are having an unusual rainy February day today. As long as the temp stays above freezing, it is all good.
I have always been a mostly inside girl. My ideal outside temperature is about 75 degrees with a slight breeze. If it deviates from that too much, I am either too hot, too cold, or too windblown. I much prefer my house with consistent temperature control. Rainy days take off the pressure to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. I can complete my inside work, or work on a hobby (if children permit) without feeling guilty about missing the too hot/cold/windy day outside.
There is something about a cloudy day that inspires me to complete long put-off projects. I started organizing a couple of closets yesterday, so I will probably finish that project today. Maybe we'll finish baking the ready-made Snickerdoodle cookie dough in the fridge. I would also like to scrapbook and maybe finish Nathan's knitted scarf, but I know those things won't happen until after bedtime tonight.
Rainy days have become even more of a treat since I married a farmer. As every farmer's wife knows, when it rains, you get to see your husband! During the summer, a rainy day can mean a rare trip to Aberdeen together. Even if it means just seeing David in the house more during the day, I am happy. Summer days can be very long when David is gone from morning until night. I am always thankful for the rain--not only for our fields--but also for our family. Having Daddy around more during the day makes everyone happier. It refreshes our family life as well.
So, enjoy the rainy day! Bake some cookies, clean a closet, read a book, or watch a movie when you get home from work tonight. Rainy days don't come often, especially in February, so take advantage of it while it's here!

The Worst Hour

Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day's occupations,
That is known as the Children's Hour.
--from "The Children's Hour" by William Wordsworth

This poem was written by Wordsworth to remember the special time he spent with his children each day. I am not a poetic scholar, but this poem, which I used to teach in my classroom, crosses my mind quite often.
Our family has a "children's hour" of sorts after showers are taken each night. The boys can pick if they would rather play with us or read books. Because of their early bedtimes, time does not allow for both. I look forward to this time every day when we can play and be together with them. It will be nice as Teresa gets older and can join us, too. She likes to start her beauty sleep at 7pm most nights, which is usually when I am just finishing the dishes.
But--there is an hour prior to that which is not at all poetic like Wordsworth's. At precisely 5:30pm the boys start to chase each other around the house, Teresa gets fussy, toys start to fly, & the screaming starts (from both the children and myself) all as I try to make supper. It is the "Worst Hour." It does not matter what kind of day we have had. Worst Hour is a given. Every Worst Hour is much the same and usually ends with the boys being banished to the basement until their dad comes in the house.
It is not just my children who are affected by this time of day. I feel it, too. At that time, the main work of the day has been completed, it is too late to start any projects on the kitchen table, our favorite TV shows are over, and I am ready to see my husband again. We are all trapped together with nothing better to do than get on each others nerves as the minutes slowly crawl toward 6:30pm.
I wonder if Wordsworth's wife had Worst Hour, too. If she did, I would like to read her poem . . . .

Picking Up

I watched a documentary on hoarding last night while I walked on my treadmill. The topic always intrigues me--probably because the people with that disorder are the exact opposite of me. While they need things to make them feel organized, clutter makes me nervous.
They interviewed Melodie, a woman who is completely overcome by this disorder. She can't work and therapy has been unsuccessful. Her apartment has barely a path to walk through and even organizing one shelf--with a counselor's help--overwhelmed her. At the end she was being evicted because of her many fire code violations.
Well, maybe the counselor couldn't help Melodie, but she sure had me examining my living space. Why was that shirt still lying on the chair? Why wasn't that laundry put away? I could hardly wait to finish my mile before I put those things away that I had become blind to. I then moved on to the kitchen and picked up more odds and ends before heading to bed. Of course, most of those things have been replaced with other things today since since five people do live here, but it made me feel better to have my house looking put together until morning.
Thankfully, hoarding is not one of my problems (except maybe when Bath & Body Works has a great sale). But, I do have a tendency to become blind to the things that get scattered around the house on a daily basis. And then there are the things I never do, like scrub my stovetop or clean my oven. I am blind to that until my mom visits and tells me I really should do those things once in a awhile (or she cleans my stove for me). Thanks again, Mom!

Girly Girl

Let me start by saying I would not trade my boys for anything. That being said, I also REALLY like dressing up my girl!
When she was just a few hours old I realized with great excitement that she only had a pack of 3 pink sleepers to her name. I had SHOPPING to do!
If a Clearance/Sale Rack/Thrift Store mom can be out of control, I am afraid I might be. As with the boys, I buy for Teresa a year in advance. Christmas dresses are pretty year after year--in fact, they are even prettier at 50% off full price! I was giddy as I bought her first pair of white patent leather shoes last Easter . . . and when I bought the black ones for this past Christmas.
Now that she is getting a little bit of hair, I have started investing in barrettes and, most recently, tiny hair elastics. The result, of course, is the "Pebbles Do."
Until she is old enough to choose what she wants to wear, this mom is having the time of her life.

Nater

Although I always find the naming of our babies one of the most fun preparations for their birth, I make sure David and I follow two rules. My first rule is that we show up to the hospital with both a boy and a girl's name. (With the exception of Nathan in which an amniocentesis confirmed without a doubt that his mapped out genes said BOY.)
Parents expect a baby for nine months. There are only two possibilities of what it could be. There is no reason why they cannot not sit down sometime in those 270+ days and choose 2 possible names. It always floors me when babies are Baby Boy or Baby Girl for a day or so after birth. Were those parents secretly hoping for a puppy? I don't get it. But, anyway . . . .
While choosing, I am always careful to pick a name that (hopefully) won't be immediately shortened into a nickname. It's not that I find shortened names bothersome for other people; I just have a thing with having my children called by their entire given names.
Before giving Nathan his name, we considered Nathaniel, but knew there was no hope of using that long name all of the time. So, Nathan it was--on the condition that we would NOT call him Nate. We don't. We call him NATER.
When Landen was 2 1/2 and Nathan about 7 months, we took Landen to his first movie in a theatre--"Cars." It was there we met Mater the Tow Truck. Somehow we decided that our bald, blue-eyed baby boy should be Nater. And so it stuck. He has been answering to Nater ever since. In fact, his cousin Carter only calls him Nater. We use it probably about 50% of the time at home--the other 50% of the time he is "NATHAN DAVID, LEAVE YOUR SISTER/BROTHER ALONE!" It really is no wonder he prefers Nater.
I didn't realize how much this nickname has stuck him until we recently started practicing for Preschool Screening. I know, I know, Preschool Screening does not require practice, but I'm a teacher--I can't help it. Besides, I only made it to the very first question. I started out easy and asked him his name. He said, "Me Tater." So, I tried again. Next he was "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know" then "Jingle Bells". Finally he was adamant--"Me Nater Melius" and that is that!
Despite my best intentions before his birth, I fell into the nickname trap with my second born. I should have seen it coming. What do expect from the daughter of "Butter"?

A National Holiday?

Since we were in the Keys on Inauguration Day, the TV/radio sports show "Mike & Mike in the Morning" asked callers what sports-related law they would want the President to approve. One caller said that the day after Super Bowl should be a national holiday. I think that's a great idea. I bet teachers would especially like this law. Not only are they tired, but the students are grouchy from staying up later on Sunday night, too. At least I know my little boy was Grouchy (with a capital G) this morning. Sorry, Mrs. Lindhorst.